1. Start a diary.
  2. Record events and thoughts in it.Read it after a week.It will help you correct thought.
  3. Make online friends if you can.
  4. Its still not clear what they don’t allow you to do and how?
  5. Tell them openly that you are suicidal.
  6. Seek medical help as often it is chemical imbalance responsible for these thoughts.6. Start some physical exercise even if you don’t like.