Here are some ironical and witty statements

  1. I am loyal to my all girlfriends.
  2. I don’t want to kiss you, just want to test our lips compatibility for future allergies!
  3. You don’t need clothes to look wonderful!
  4. I love your flab but yes only at specific places!
  5. I am so innocent that I fall in love with in two minutes.Yes I need two minutes to scan the essential qualities required for lady love!
  6. I am sexy,yes I just borrowed some stuff from you!
  7. I forgot that you are still angry.Any how, how is it all going along!
  8. Last time you said ‘fuck you’… you liar!
  9. Yes yes, I know you hate me…You are just hating me or there is some one else too!
  10. I hate you more than her!
  11. Oops you just called me to tell that you are busy!
  12. My love is infinite and yes literally infinite!
  13. Your best friend is so sweet.She just messaged me about how badly you miss me.It took her one hour and 50 minutes to convince me!. Ya tomorrow she would call and pacify me further!
  14. Some times the way you look at me,I get confused that whether we have broken up or still acting for it!
  15. Just saw your new boy friend.Ask him to accept my condolences!
  16. Ohh joy ride with your new boy friend…Actually I am feeling so low and jealous here in bar that even three girls sitting next to me can’t calm me down…wait no kisses this soon…oops she don’t care!
  17. Just saw your old profile pictures on my mobile.God love is indeed blind and yes dumb!
  18. I must confess that you still look sexy in your black pajama and that white top.I still crave for that one look of yours.And yes the way you smiled to me while confessing your love..I can die for it again. But you can never die twice!
  19. Our break up was mutual , yes for you mutually beneficial and for me mutually understanding!
  20. I don’t know why that whore kept asking about your number ? May be for some genuine advice on love!

PS : This is a work of fiction written from a perspective for heart broken guy.No resemblance to any person living or dead.Special emphasis on dead!

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Source: What is the best piece of irony you have encountered?