Love never hurt or can hurt. Then why so much fuss out there ?

Let me explain what happens in love and why often it turns sour.

In the beginning of any relationship we often go out of our comfort zone to cajole our lovers. As soon as we feel that they are ours, we become complacent about them. All that special attention,morning messages,special dates,all wash away from both sides.We stop making special attempts to woe our ‘ever important now turned ordinary lovers’. At this points all the ‘real’ problems begin to surface.

Sounds familiar ?

Don’t worry, it is the normal working of human mind.The moment it achieves any thing it loses some of its interest. It is bound to happen.

Hence love never hurts but it is our insecurity (‘My value goes down if I message logic’), power games (least interested has greatest power theory),expectation (I am better and he/she must follow me logic) etc.

Can you relate with all this ?

Why all this happens ? The prime reason is that the love is not complete till now. We are still in the phase of power and mind games and not true love. This is why love is so difficult. It requires to off guard all your ego and surrender to some one else.

This is the soul reason of failure of almost all love stories.The moment we drop our mask of all good behavior and try to be our natural self,we are trapped in a psychological state called ‘dissonance’. Dissonance needs to be consistent with our behavior in long run.When ever we defy that it creates pain on either side.

Solution:

  1. Accept that things will change and people will return to their natural state of mind.
  2. Try to leave your insecurity and ego aside. If the other person really loves you then they will never resort to power and mind games.If they don’t love you then it is immaterial whether you are insecure or ego less.It is one time shock only in that case.
  3. Accept and respect natural instincts of your lover.They cannot change in a day and they must not change for you also since then, what is the point in loving a person who modifies himself for sole reason of impressing you ? I believe in transforming in love and not changing.
  4. If your love has passed that crucial stage of jealousy-insecurity-mind-power games stage, only then love is wonderful.

Mind and ego hurt,love only nourish.

https://hemantpandeyblog820899289.wordpress.com/2017/11/14/why-some-love-stories-are-successful/