Let me explain what is happening with you.You are trapped in an obsession.Our mind is amazing.We neglect those who love us and follow those who treat us like dirt.But why?

Before that let me explain you some basics about seduction (I firmly believe that you are seduced).

  1. You meet a guy who is witty and intelligent and may be social magnet.You are impressed.
  2. He seems to be answer of all your worries and social anxiety as well a loneliness.
  3. He senses your feelings and decides to play nice guy with you.
  4. Intermittently he becomes rude and then in some times comes back to normal.
  5. Each time he neglects you, your desperation grows for him.He repeats this pattern quite a few times and you are weak in knees and succumb to his every desire.
  6. He senses this and uses you to his advantage (seducers do it purposely for sex).
  7. Last step is withdrawal.As soon as his purpose is fulfilled,he leaves you in lurch.You are now obsessed for him.Your mind cannot accept the fact that your worth is now reduced to zero and wants the validation back!

Wasn’t it true!

This is the seduction method used world wide by seducers,charmers and mostly secret service spies.They make you dependent on them by their validation and then slowly with draw.They follow a pattern of ups and downs and thus create intense emotions in you for them!

Why it works?

The method works for two reasons.

  1. Validation seeking nature of mind.
  2. This same pattern is followed in true love stories also!

In true love also when we become upset with our partners for their untoward behavior,we with draw from them.We kind of neglect them and let them understand our loss.If they reciprocate,we again turn out to be good.

This punishment and reward system is inbuilt in us since childhood.When ever our mothers wanted us to do things or not to do things,she used carrot and stick approach!

Seducers recognize this primary weakness of human nature and hence use it to their evil advantage.

The strangest thing about seduction is that it is very tiring.It is like Stockholm syndrome, where victim fall in love with their abusers.Your mind gets more obsessed and more you try to get out of the trap,more ensnared you become! It is like a vicious circle.Every act of theirs seem to be related to you and you start to find imaginary patterns.You self esteem hits ground zero and you start to die from inside.You become puppet to their tunes.The moment they want to use their emotional slave,they just how a little bit of mercy,few kind word,a ‘hi’ on whats App and you are again ready to be laid for them!

They crate their need in you,keep it unfulfilled and make you their emotional slave.Again this process is not gender specific.Girls also employ similar methods and have many such puppets (also known as ‘the nice guys’). For girls the job is tad bit easier.


  1. Recognize the seducer and make sure that he is not a genuine person or lover.
  2. Become indifferent towards him.Delete his contacts,every thing associated with him,block them every where.Remember seduction is like intoxication,more you follow,worst you become.
  3. Make new friend.best way to break old habits is to create a new one.Go out with new friends(your mind shall resist this). Go out with out your will.Appreciate them and get appreciated.In some days these new memories shall break those older ones successfully.The toughest part of this exercise is to START.You will find it hard to believe in your new friends.You self esteem is already low.You will need more self assurance.Chose people who are genuine and empathetic.People who really care for you. Two movies and two out door dates shall make you as lively as before.But you already know the hardest part and it is to start.
  4. Seducers want their victims to be alone and think only about them.

A word of caution : Some people are genuinely of different nature.They might look like abusers while they might be not. Do a back ground check before dumping you seducer.

Last word of caution : Evil is infinitely seductive.That is why jerks rule the dating world.Your mind knows they are wrong and still want to stick to them! Some times you are also addicted to the pain!

If you still feel low,message or mail me freely with more details.

What is something men need to understand?


Hemant Pandey
Hemant lives in Mumbai (India),writes on Quora (2600 followers, 2.8 million views).Published 5 books on Amazon Kindle. Entrepreneur, Writer, Mathematician, Professor.