The de facto list would be like this

  • No childish emotional tantrums : Girls becoming either babies or mother while in a relationship for some time is absolutely fine , in fact desirable to assume those roles once in a while.But always behaving in a silly manner is a big turn off.Assume a role as script demands and not as a default mode.
  • No ‘indirect’ bitch plays : You want something ask directly or may be discreetly but with enough disclosure. Okay your mood is off. You want to go out. Say it!. Don’t try to become super nice girlfriend and keep us taunting that our work will suffer and we may not have time etc. bullshit. We know how to manage time and our professional life.
  • We love physical intimacy : Being a girl friend means hugs, kisses, holding hands and might be sex.Don’t become ‘Mother Mary’ in front of us.[pullquote]No matter how much a man can afford, he always loves his girl cook for him. Cooking is love,emotions and effort. [/pullquote]We love you, we want to touch you,kiss you,feel you and it doesn’t makes us pervert. We love you and hence want to touch you. Love has chemistry, physics and biology all intertwined into one.
  • We seriously want you to cook for us : No matter how much a man can afford, he always loves his girl cook for him. Cooking is love,emotions and effort. Any time ‘dosa’ made by my girlfriend will out cast all the ‘dosas’ in the earth and Mars combined. You can never imagine the joy of food cooked by a girl friend to a boyfriend.
    • Bonus tip : Love is emotion in action. You can safely assume that love of your boy friend shall get doubled by every meal you cook for him.
  • We love your scolding at times : When you scold your boyfriend to be more organized, be more tidy, brush twice daily, wear ironed clothing, have a clean room, they absolutely love this.There are two reasons
    • Obviously it shows us your concern and love.
    • We are secretly happy that after a lot of scolding you will say ‘You can’t do anything. Now I have to clean your room.But last time. Okay’ (Aha…task accomplished!)
  • Boys like their girlfriends to take charge sometimes : We know you want it. We feel like perverts if we always have to initiate every ‘love scene’. It’s okay for you to kiss at times ‘baby’. You can also charge the environment.Believe me there’s no aphrodisiac better than a charging girlfriend. We love surprises[pullquote]Please reach on time for a date.Please. Men are restless by nature. No we cannot even wait for five odd minutes![/pullquote] more than food or sex!. Please do that once in a while and we are not going anywhere (No more whatsApp status updates!).
  • Boys absolutely hate ‘flakiness’ : Yes it is well-known phenomenon of ‘love life’ that ‘all delays are caused by girls and men are always responsible for that!’. Please reach on time for a date.Please. Men are restless by nature. No we cannot even wait for five odd minutes!
    • Call from Disha
    • Traffic
    • Dad was in front of me!
    • Sharmaji was standing at the gate of society!

etc.etc. all excuses sting us like a serpent of the sacred tree of Adam and Eve era.

Please plan everything in advance. We know that two hours were spent on finding the matching dress and one hour in adjusting that make up.Also final hour was wasted in scrapping that selected ‘bitchy’ dress and selecting the new one suggested by Disha!

  • Men hate rules formed (read imposed) by girls on us : Every girl changes his boy in a relationship and then blames that now you are not like before!. You changed!. Rules especially regarding safety concerns!. Crossing road, not hanging from a bus,train door etc.,smoking,rum (Old Monk ) and many many others. It’s okay to be concerned for a while but baby we are ‘The men’ and we are born street smart.
  • Blackmail before sex or even meager kiss : Why all your questions,demands,queries about Disha, pop up just before an intimate moment. Why this so-called test of true love question needs to be addressed just before a kiss ? I want to kiss you lips baby and my ears are dead for next 60 seconds!. If you can make us say anything before an intimate moment or confess anything which suits the ‘job at hand’, why bother!. We will say anything you want baby!
  • Boys hate mind (fucking) games : All girls play mind games and it is well known.Its okay to be a little manipulative in this ‘bad’ world. But our patience is limited.Quit playing games.We are innocent creatures ma’am, don’t play with our emotions for long!. If we will think about those shitty games all day (many guys can relate to this ; The famous ‘why she did/said this, that or whatever!)), when we will we make our career and future!

Endnote : Boys hate to tell you all this.