1. Relationships ‘feel’ like you see in movies but in reality not exactly the same. After the honeymoon period of two weeks, the hangover settles down and the euphoria becomes quite ‘normal’.
  2. Relationships are just about being natural and not perfect. We are not perfect and need not be. If you don’t understand this simple fact, relationships are not for you.
    1. Your girlfriend will not look like a ‘diva’ for all 30 days a month.She will fall ill, have bad days, may gain weight or may get pimples. Don’t expect her to be perfect 24 by 7. Same goes with mood swings. Women have this particular mood swing problem (usually PMS). Remember whatever she says or act in ‘those’ days is just temporary. Just try to be understanding as well as patient.
    2. Your man will also get angry (anger fits due to testerone upswings). He cannot (will not) be the same romantic guy chasing you. He will get busy with other things in life. Women are emotional and men are moody. Many a times men need to be reassured about relationship status, shown extra bit of care, you need to pamper them a bit more and take care of them.
    3. Understand that we show our best side while courting/dating. Slowly all facets will get divulged and hence you are bound to get disheartened. Be ready for that. Love is loving all the shortcomings of anyone. Love is total and totality contains everything.
  3. Sex is the honeytrap of nature to help people come closer to each other. If you are expecting a relationship ‘just for fun’ or ‘dig a bit deeper’, then better buy sex.
    1. Relationships are too time consuming, costly and energy inefficient as far as getting sex is concerned. Sex is a part of a good relationship, but it is just a starter and not main course. After say 6 months down the line, sex takes (must take) secondary importance, replaced by love and care.
    2. Yes care is the best word for relationships. If you don’t care, you don’t love. Opposite of love is not neglectance, not non communication, not hatred but indifference. It is when you stop caring about other or what they do, love ends.
  4. Everything in moderation is fine. As with other areas of life, you must do everything in moderation in relationships.
    1. Don’t be too needy or clingy (at least initially i.e. for first six months).
    2. I believe real relationship begins only after one year of courtship. Before that people may fall in (false) love due to peer pressure, hormonal urges (read need to ‘dig deeper’),media induced ‘unreal’ love or just to overcome loneliness and getting a FWB.
    3. Save your over possessiveness for later. If someone just slept with you after meeting in a week or hang out with you in college or in your office and says ‘I Love You’ three times a day, does not mean that he or she really loves you.
    4. Love, like all natural processes has an ‘incubation’ period. It takes time for mind and heart to gel with your hormonal urges, trust a stranger completely and give access to him or her to your innermost core world. You can find ‘so called’ lovers out there, who do not even know favorite color of their partners (except for the color of their ‘undergarments’!). I define this period as minimum 6 months. Less than that…nah…you just want sex!
  5. The most common open secret about relationships is that ‘Career comes first’. Period. How good looking someone is, how much caring, loving and kind hearted they might seem, money comes first.
    1. The golden era of unconditional love is long over. In modern life, money is oxygen and hence money must always be your first priority, always.
    2. No matter how firmly someone professes their true love to you, money for men and looks for women in non negotiable trait embedded too deep in human psychology.
    3. Lately looks for men and money for women is gaining traction in dating circles. The Order of preference is however reversed in both genders and soon (in a decade), both money and looks shall find equal importance for both genders.
    4. Last advice : Never invest more than the other person is ready to risk in any relationship. Only Mothers love unconditionally, for others, conditions apply.

Why relationships fail?

Love is indeed the most wonderful experience anyone’s life. The euphoria, the horman rush (and urge), the hangover is the ultimate drug out there.

But ‘Babuji dheere chalna…’

‘Bade dhokhe hain is rah me…’