18 things men don’t tell women but secretly do

Oh ho ho, the secret den of men!

We really don’t listen to your conversations on the phone. We just think about the other one hundred and one things in the mind, and keep scanning relevant information during the call. We do care a lot, but most of the time we already know what you will say. I often times say: ‘I don’t think about the meaning of your words, but listen to the music of your voice’. Yes, if there is something sensitive, we do cater to it.
Men really hate shopping. Period. We hate those agonizing 3 hours, roaming with other hordes of women, hopping from one shop to another and trying to buy the best dress possible in the cheapest possible price. It’s inbuilt in us!
We hate bargaining : I don’t know how many shall relate to this but women are merciless bargainers. They can sacrifice themselves for that extra ₹100/- off! Whenever I go shopping with my wife, and she says that ‘Look at the cost of that’, I just say ‘Either purchase it, or leave it!’. What the hell do these women accomplish when they save the 2₹ from that little vegetable vendor!
We always have an excuse ready : Men are master manipulators. They can think of any type of excuse at anytime, anywhere! We are very careful with our lies, and we have the complete picture and the back up available both mentally and physically!
- If I lie that I was with my friend ‘X’ at 6:30 PM on Wednesday (While in actuality I was just sleeping around to avoid a meeting/date!), we make sure that even if you call him anonymously, or via a third-party mutual friend, the details match as they matched in the movie Drishyam (Please watch if you haven’t seen it yet. My current favorite movie).
We always play dumb in front of people we like : Suppose I like someone, and she knows a thing or two about music, and for example she is describing her favorite song, we will always forget the movie, song, singer or whatever. Baby, I want to listen to the music of your voice. Who cares about words. Go on saying!!
We mentally do everything with a women we like : Men have distinct imaginative abilities. If I am looking at your lips, know that I kissed you in my mind! We are wired like that, baby! Not always though but in some intense moments.
We seriously hate our girls liking other guys even on Instagram or Facebook .Let alone in real-life. No, we are NOT okay with it. Your male friends are never friends to us and we know that ‘Men will be men’.
We just love those BOLD girls who take away the pressure of proposing from us to themselves! : Whatever one may say, these girls will always throw a lot of tantrums in accepting you. Even if they love you and they know you love them, they will play these shitty mind games! WE SERIOUSLY HATE THEM. Why ? Because baby men can read your mind. We know that you are playing it!
Men hate Flakiness : Women are known to arrive late for a date. Many times they purposely do that and at other times they are ‘advised’ from their experienced peer who just had her sixth breakup!
Men absolutely love their jealous girl friends : There is no greater feeling in this world than to have a truly jealous girlfriend. It means that you really love. It means that you value us. It means that you will not cheat easily, as you are already anxious about us cheating you!
Men hate arguments. Period. : We are aware of your capabilities in winning any argument. We hate arguments. We realize our mistakes early on and are ready for anything except an apology! Girls want to behave like the principal of a school. Are we supposed to write a two page long apology letter to them, signed by two witnesses and must be approved by her gang of girls (Read ‘invisible’ advisers!). A ‘sorry’ is more difficult to say than a ‘I love you’. When we say ‘I love you’ in a relationship, treat it as a sorry!
See to believe (All Videos are in Hindi). These two are also epic…
Men hate saying ‘I love you’ 24 times (to be precise) on any given day! Why can’t girls just be normal and just believe that we love them ? Say ‘I love you’ loudly on the phone so that the whole world listens to it! Huh!!
Men really hate makeup : We don’t know anything about eyeliners or mascara and would rather not know. Also, we are more interested in the taste of that lipstick, rather than the ‘color’ of that lipstick! God, how many colors do these women know about! I just heard someone mentioning a color called ‘mauve’! What the hell is that! Just do some ‘touch up’. Makeup is as bullshit as ‘break up’.
Men hate their girlfriend’s friends. : Sometimes, guys feel that they are dating two-three women at a time! One day before, our text was cute, and just the next day it was ‘dominating’ or ‘masochistic’ or whatever their best friends interpreted it as! Please STOP telling your friends what the color of our underwear is!
Men hate ‘riddles’ : Women, more often than not, talk in puzzles. If they’re angry with us since we flirted with our Ex for a while, what is the harm in saying it directly! They torture you with questions like ‘Describe in 500 words, why do you like me ?’. They always keep collecting baggage and us it appropriately. They always want us to ‘decode’ their hints!. I guess the dating part is over. Right ?
Men want space or freedom : We are not used to of this ‘Mommy’ behavior. My whatscrapp (No spelling mistake!) status does not always concern you , darling! Sometimes it is random, other times it is copied from somewhere else. My status on social media is not always relevant!!. Why they always want indirect ‘solutions’ when they can have direct answers? Our each and every activity elsewhere is NOT concerned with you or anyone else!. Yes some times these status are true but not always!!
Men are direct, we hate conclusions that girls often draw out of nowhere! : If I say ‘I am feeling sleepy’ , I really am, feeling sleepy and NOT thinking about ‘Disha’ and breaking up with you! We don’t really know the ‘art of conversation’ in the ‘Da Vinci’ codes! We mean what we say. We are indirect some times before relationships to give you ‘hints’ and indirect proposals, but NOT after relationship is ‘committed’.
Men at times hate long calls (Not always but when they are busy) : Do you know how long we talk with our male friends ? 30 seconds is the average!! We are direct you know. We always prefer one to one meeting and not those texts or calls!.