The eternal quest of lovers is to ponder the question; whether to be, or not to be be attached to your lovers.
We have wide misconceptions about being in love, and being attached.
The differentiation between the two is razor thin.
- Shouldn’t I communicate with my lover often?
- If I feel jealous when she or he flirts with the person, am I attached?
- Shouldn’t I crave to meet her or him always?
- Shouldn’t I think about them always?
- Am I needy if I need their support always?
- Shouldn’t I care of them?
- Is expectation = attachment?
- Shouldn’t I keep an eye over them on social media by spying on them and seeing when they chat with others etc. ?
- Is jealousy = attachment ?
And many more…
Let me ask a few questions to you before I answer.
- DO you feel jealous when you mother talks to other children?
- DO you feel that you must communicate with your mother less or more often (power game in relationships via the classic rule of manipulation that ‘one who is least interested has the most power’)?
- DO you feel any of above questions for your mother ?
No. But why ? Because you believe in her true love.When you love, these questions do not arise.Power game, principle of least interest etc. are applied in business settings and not in real life.Do you wait for your Mom to call you or call by your self? Do you think that she would feel that you are needy? No.
Attachment is love with insecurities.
All these things become love when we have faith in our lover.When we truly love then where is that ego of why me?
Love is love.
Love is attachment when we start to calculate our effort and measure the responses of our lover.Love is attachment only when we are insecure and not sure of our love because we have our own insecurities.If some one says to you (may be your so called ‘boy friend’), that your friend is sexy.I want to know more about it.
What could be your reaction?
Bash him, feel insecure that your friend could snatch him from you!
Or just give her number to him and arrange a date!
If love is true, if you believe yourself and your love, then nothing is wrong even feeling jealous at times.But if after feeling a little jealous you do not return to your original state of love and start to doubt him means it was only attachment.You need him or her and not you both love each other.
Love is in itself an assurance.We need nothing else.
Trust is god (Sadly god is rare now a days).
The day you will find your true love, you shall be all naked in front of him or her, both mentally and physically as well as spiritually.If you feel to call, call.If you feel to chat, chat.If your mind raises queries about your effort, your value going down etc. etc., you love is still immature. Let it grow.
Thus independent people only can love as they are assured of their own worth, don’t need validation on Instagram and Facebook about their identity, are confident and yes are attached.
Love is attachment with out conditions.
PS : In the initial stages of love or dating or whatever you need to take time of trust to be developed, all those feelings of attachment, jealousy, neediness, mind games are part of the game.Conscious mind is here to protect us.But once for a while it all must tend.You must surrender to pure true love after all trials and tests.Only then you feel that famous soothing background music of love.
Love reassures, attachment gives restlessness.
Love and attachment are not two things but one.Only your perception about yourself and others makes all the difference.