My views are different.
To impress someone as in a business setting or normal chit-chat, I agree that we should be active listener and follow ‘How to win friends and influence people’. But for love interest or similar causes, I advice against it!
- Love is between two people who are interested in each other and more that what they say! If I like someone and she also likes me, then it does not matter what she says or what I say!
- We just love (Should love) the company of other person and not constantly thinking to impress him or her!. Believe me , even if you get them you will always be the joker and they will be the audience. I believe the chemistry of love is more about personality and behavior , and not specific pick up lines.
You love a personality and then you love what ever they say! Small little things which mean nothing to the outer world are every thing for lovers.
- But yes there is that evolutionary mind. To trick it, you may follow the advice of ‘talk about your self’ but she must also be interested! It can be 2:1, i.e you ask two questions she asks one, but never 10:1 !. Allow her to explore you also!
- You are her lover and not psychotherapist!. Yes it looks counter intuitive but dude, love is bi directional. If I am the only one contributing, then I must look beyond. In reality active listening is often boring , if other one is only speaking.
Rule : You ask few questions and let her think also. It is not an interview or biography session. She must also take some pain for the relationship. Research proves that we value things for which we have made efforts.