If you have to think about self respect,then it isn’t love!
There is no self in love,only a commone moment respect of the person become you respect,love happens.
But that deep love takes a long time to develop. There are stags in love.Initially yes,it matters. Only after deep trance like love is developed (Say in two years),then these things come into play. You have to know other person inside out,with physical and mental boundaries to go into that deep state of love.
Till then there will be little mind games,little testing of mind and a lot many compatibles. We do fall in trance like love but it takes a lot longer and lot many sacrifices.I think its good. If any thing and I mean anything can stop love,it isn’t love.
PS : Do not start judging your lover since beginning. True love is about .001% and hence chances are already very less. You can meet only one or two people with that probability fulfilling the criteria.