1. Dating experts (Love gurus)
    • Girls : Usually bluffing about their all perfect always loving boy friend. Every advice equals ‘Love him more and have no expectations etc.’
    • Boys
      1. With girl friend experience : 50% will say ‘Stay away from bitches’. Remaining 50% will say ‘Stay away from bitches!’. All of them are heart broken and thoroughly devastated by these money hungry whores (Their words). Every one having 5 + years in relationship with no show at the end. (Many cases are true).
      2. With out girlfriend experience : All advisers in this category advice from newspaper columns or tricks learned from those ‘pick up artist websites’. Dude this is India and girls are not that easy and *slutty (open). Beware. *Open in India has another term : slutty. They themselves may never have spoken to any girl but give you all seduction tips!
  2. Philosophers : These guys are the one’s who find philosophy every where.Examples :
    • What should I do after 12th ? Ans : Life is a big journey. Do what you love but take care of plants on the side ways also!. To them life is overtly subjective.
    • What is your favorite food ? I eat only food for thought!
    • How did you killed your self ? Ans : Life is a journey. You get killed every moment. I killed my self when I was four!
    • How can I kill my self ? Ans : Life is a journey. Read my answers and follow me. No need to do any thing else!
  3. Heartbroken teens : These guys have seen all in their life. That girl whom they met in kindergartens and had relationship for 3 years just broke with them. Now they need to see a therapist!. She was perfect. She brought perfect ‘snacks’ hand made by her Mom (after opening a pack they bought from super market. Hand made is same as hand opened now a days). Sopping comments from equally experienced peers!
  4. Criticizers (Pessimists) : These guys find no good any where. They can find dust particle in space and make it look like rocky mountains!. Every thing is wrong
    • Politicians : All are corrupt
    • Girls : All are gold diggers and whores.
    • Schools : Are boring. Kill creativity.Good for nothing.
    • Windows : Is slow, has viruses, bulky,pirated
    • Mac : Over priced,over hyped, Marketing gimmick etc.
    • Face book : Just a boring website to share memes and ‘#bitch pout selfies’.
    • Quora : Becoming another face book, standard going down!
    • You have a girlfriend : Wasting your life with no goals.
    • Don’t have a girlfriend : Dude you are good for nothing. You can’t even get a girl, who will give you job!
    • India : Dirty, no civic sense in people, Nosy neighbors, No law and order
    • Abroad : Selfish people, boring life, no friends, too cold!
    • Give them a topic and you get a flaw.
  5. Approvers (Optimists) : Exactly opposite of above. Everything is positive for them.
  6. Political Worshipers (Bhakts/bigots) : These people have their own god and their god damn aura. They can literally murder your online social and political identity, if you choose to malign their God’s T-shirt.
  7. Followers : Same as above except they are hard core loyalists of their Quora idols (God damn god!). There are also those category of people ‘You look good, I will follow you’ type.
  8. Good writers : A large percentage of writers are really good also. They give more balanced view of life.

What are some life lessons you’ve learned after being six months unemployed?

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Hemant Pandey
Hemant lives in Mumbai (India),writes on Quora (2600 followers, 2.8 million views).Published 5 books on Amazon Kindle. Entrepreneur, Writer, Mathematician, Professor.