1. Dating experts (Love gurus)
    • Girls : Usually bluffing about their all perfect always loving boy friend. Every advice equals ‘Love him more and have no expectations etc.’
    • Boys
      1. With girl friend experience : 50% will say ‘Stay away from bitches’. Remaining 50% will say ‘Stay away from bitches!’. All of them are heart broken and thoroughly devastated by these money hungry whores (Their words). Every one having 5 + years in relationship with no show at the end. (Many cases are true).
      2. With out girlfriend experience : All advisers in this category advice from newspaper columns or tricks learned from those ‘pick up artist websites’. Dude this is India and girls are not that easy and *slutty (open). Beware. *Open in India has another term : slutty. They themselves may never have spoken to any girl but give you all seduction tips!
  2. Philosophers : These guys are the one’s who find philosophy every where.Examples :
    • What should I do after 12th ? Ans : Life is a big journey. Do what you love but take care of plants on the side ways also!. To them life is overtly subjective.
    • What is your favorite food ? I eat only food for thought!
    • How did you killed your self ? Ans : Life is a journey. You get killed every moment. I killed my self when I was four!
    • How can I kill my self ? Ans : Life is a journey. Read my answers and follow me. No need to do any thing else!
  3. Heartbroken teens : These guys have seen all in their life. That girl whom they met in kindergartens and had relationship for 3 years just broke with them. Now they need to see a therapist!. She was perfect. She brought perfect ‘snacks’ hand made by her Mom (after opening a pack they bought from super market. Hand made is same as hand opened now a days). Sopping comments from equally experienced peers!
  4. Criticizers (Pessimists) : These guys find no good any where. They can find dust particle in space and make it look like rocky mountains!. Every thing is wrong
    • Politicians : All are corrupt
    • Girls : All are gold diggers and whores.
    • Schools : Are boring. Kill creativity.Good for nothing.
    • Windows : Is slow, has viruses, bulky,pirated
    • Mac : Over priced,over hyped, Marketing gimmick etc.
    • Face book : Just a boring website to share memes and ‘#bitch pout selfies’.
    • Quora : Becoming another face book, standard going down!
    • You have a girlfriend : Wasting your life with no goals.
    • Don’t have a girlfriend : Dude you are good for nothing. You can’t even get a girl, who will give you job!
    • India : Dirty, no civic sense in people, Nosy neighbors, No law and order
    • Abroad : Selfish people, boring life, no friends, too cold!
    • Give them a topic and you get a flaw.
  5. Approvers (Optimists) : Exactly opposite of above. Everything is positive for them.
  6. Political Worshipers (Bhakts/bigots) : These people have their own god and their god damn aura. They can literally murder your online social and political identity, if you choose to malign their God’s T-shirt.
  7. Followers : Same as above except they are hard core loyalists of their Quora idols (God damn god!). There are also those category of people ‘You look good, I will follow you’ type.
  8. Good writers : A large percentage of writers are really good also. They give more balanced view of life.

What are some life lessons you’ve learned after being six months unemployed?



Hemant Pandey
Hemant lives in Mumbai (India),writes on Quora (2600 followers, 2.8 million views).Published 5 books on Amazon Kindle. Entrepreneur, Writer, Mathematician, Professor.